My roots have grown, but I don't know where they are

It’s BVS orientation time here in our house, which means that one of our housemates is gone for close to three and a half weeks! The four of us were reunited for a day and a half after my crazy, week and a half roadtrip, which I documented on my own blog.

For 2013, I have decided to keep track of all of the miles that I travel for trips. It might seem like a funny thing to keep track of for someone who lives in an intentional Christian community. Humorous (and sad) because the memories and experiences that come from intentional community…come from physically being present. The experience comes from navigating life together. Shared laughter over dinner or the grumpiness in the van after a long day at work are moments that define us as a community. Albeit in small and mundane ways, but they continually structure who we are as a community nonetheless.

When I returned from my week and half long jaunt away from 923, I came back to a regular house meeting…there were things that it took me longer to process or reminders that didn’t directly apply to me. Like, “Can we try to leave a little bit early…so that we’re on time for work?” Well, I haven’t even been here for the past ten days she’s probably not talking about me…or to me. Yet, she was. It’s a common plea and reminder that we hear often and just because I’ve been gone…doesn’t mean I don’t need a reminder to be in the van by 7:45am.

The travel schedule that pulls us away from our BVS home seems ironic to me, because …it’s harder to strengthen relationships when I’m not physically present, especially when I’m in a new state, with (mostly) new people, and a new church. Being here for ALL of those things is hard enough…not to mention being intermittently gone and missing bits and pieces of this place’s story. I know the story of where I came from – Weyers Cave. I know the town, the nice lady at the locally owned grocery store, I know the church people, the Valley people, the Bridgewater people…I KNOW that place. My roots are DEEP in that Virginia ground and when I come home…it’s like I hadn’t left. Yet, we all know that’s not true, either, because people grow and change and live even when you’re not there. Right?

It’s hard to think about the roots I have in Virginia, in the Valley and at Bridgewater, and the roots that I’m establishing here…the people that I am falling in love with each day, the old van that I can drive better than my own car, the welcoming church family and supportive co-workers, and the flat horizons and snowy ground. THEN having to uproot in a year and a half to (potentially) another new place with new people? Is that just the plight of young adulthood? Are young adult’s seasonal plants unable to establish deep roots in a place? How do you all feel about this? Are you all experiencing a similar phenomenon?

The Head and the Heart lyrics, “My roots have grown but I don’t know where they are” come to me immediately. If I bounce from place to place with roots here, there, and everywhere…is that okay? I don’t know about you, but I secretly LOVE that I get to travel. I am excited about the (freedom) that a young adult life can bring without having to “settle-down.”

They're so beautifully weird. I love it. 

I read a book by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove, during my own BVS orientation, called “The Wisdom of Stability: Rooting Faith in a Mobile Culture.” I actually picked it up, because its design cover was reminiscent of our workcamp logo and theme “Deeply Rooted.” In his book, Wilson-Hartgrove talks about the importance of living into the daily rhythms of a place, of buying a house (that you’ll live in the rest of your life!), becoming a true part of the place around you and the people physically near you. He referenced the jet-setters who daily traveled around the world – whose roots were deeper in airports than in a home or city. Or in suburbia…where we don’t know who lives next door…and frankly don’t want to. The images just invoke emptiness and isolation. And it’s lifestyle choices that we’ve made for ourselves or that society has guided us to. He asks us, where is God calling you to be stable in your life? How can you be rooted wherever you are? Wilson-Hartgrove uses the stable imagery of his own intentional community and their daily rhythms, but suggests that stability with God can start by practicing daily rhythms of your own.

Intentional Christian community is a life choice that suggests we want to know people, know God, and be known ourselves. For that to happen, we have to be HERE…and in the BVS house…we are…for the most part. We work together. We eat together. We worship together. We commute together. We talk together. We meet together. When we’re here we really are together. Maybe that’s what’s most important.

I’ve been called to this time and this place…right now. I might not be here for the rest of my life, but I’m here right now. Trying to be mentally, physically, and spiritually present to the way the God is moving through these people and this place. We (secretly) know and (internally) acknowledge that this community is fleeting. By this time next year, the BVS house members will be different and its old members will have moved on…hopefully, establishing their own roots somewhere else. We ALL know that is our fate…we can’t live here forever. But we fully live here now and we fully love each other now and we fully seek God to come into this space now.

There probably aren’t too many intentional communities, Christian or otherwise, with members who travel as much as we do. (Maybe the Simple Way with Shane Claiborne’s speaking schedule?) The next time that all four of us are in the house together will be February 17^th, and then the following morning I’m leaving for a short trip to California for workcamps. What is our life together!? Or I guess the better questions could be WHERE? It’s fitting that on that Sunday, February 17^th, we’re celebrating Valentine’s Day. Celebrating love…together…in our home…with friends…here.  

Rachel's First Chapel

This morning I gave my first chapel and I thought I would share it with all of you who couldn't be there! I know you are all dying to know what I talked about. ;-) Anyway, here you go!

Scripture

Proverbs 16:1-3 (MSG)

1 Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word. 2 Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good; God probes for what is good. 3 Put God in charge of your work, then what you've planned will take place.

Reflection

Most of you may already know that I majored in theatre performance in college. Theatre was my life, as those of you with kids in theatre programs know. I was in choir, I was in the theatre club, I was running lights, acting in full lengths, and one acts, and the list goes on. By about sophomore year, I decided to go out for one of the last sections of the theatre scene that I hadn’t explored yet and was, honestly, afraid to try. It was the improv group on campus.

I have never been good at improv. I have always wanted to be but I always got too nervous. Give me a script I can memorize and work on and I’ll go out there, head held high. Throw something at me from left field, however, and I’m slightly lost.

So, I decided to face this fear and, knowing I probably wouldn’t make the troop anyway, gave improv a shot. I went to the auditions and I was so nervous the whole time. I did okay, but, as I assumed, I didn’t make the group. I was fine with that, however, and just proud of myself for trying.

From this experience and from my numerous theatre classes, I learned several things about improv and acting. What to do and what not to do. I found an example list online which spells it out nicely into five basic rules:

1. Don't Deny. Denial is the number one reason most scenes go bad. Any time you refuse an offer made by your partner your scene will almost instantly come to a grinding halt.

2. Don't ask open ended Questions. (like "Who are you?") They stop the scene while your partner has to think of something.

3. You don't have to be funny. Play the truth of the scene, make it interesting, and the funny will follow.

4. You can look good if you make your partner look good. People come into scenes with a great idea for a character but your partner has no idea what’s going on in your head.

5. Tell a story. The players take totally random suggestions (like a plumber and a cab driver selling shoes in a cubicle) and somehow "make it work". (I got these rules here.)

These rules helped me get through some tough scenes in theatre and in life. Another rule that isn’t in the improv list but that was drilled into my head was to make a decision and make it big. Once you make your choice, stick with it. If you second guess yourself, the audience will second guess you as well. I use this one a lot.

My next brush with improv was not as happy an experience as the first. I was cast in a play with a small cast. There really were, for the most part, no small parts. I was part of a trio that formed the comic relief team. At one point, we play opposite the lead and, through some witty comments and comic repetition, get a few laughs. The lead, however, was not happy with us getting the laughs and wanted some for himself.

One night, we were going through our routine when, out of the blue, the lead starts throwing lines at us that we have never heard before. He starts improving. Now, there’s nothing wrong with a few lines of witty improv, but, without sounding too mean, hopefully, he wasn’t being witty. Instead, he was making things up just to get some laughs which, when they didn’t come, made him try all the harder.

One of the rules of comedy or improv, if you recall, is that you don’t have to be funny or, the way I learned it, never play for the laughs. One of the first rules of the stage is that you have to be trustworthy and your fellow actors need to know they can rely on you. This sounds a bit like the “official” rule number four: You can look good if you make your partner look good. He broke both those rules that night, consciously. He was being selfish to get a few laughs on stage which he never even got. And none of us could trust him from that night on.

Some improv in theatre and in life is necessary. When a situation arises without warning, on the stage or in life, sometimes you have to jump, take the chance, or fix the situation by doing a little improv. When people improv for their personal benefit only, however, it doesn’t help anyone out.

The way I see it, God is the master playwright. He has a script for each one of us. Sometimes we have our lines nailed. Sometimes someone else throws in some improv and we have to find our way back to the script. And sometimes, we do our own improv for our own benefit and we need help getting back on track. It might seem a little bit of a cliché or even a naive way of looking at the world, and I know that, but it’s one way for me to start to wrap my head around this play called Life. The potters get their metaphor; this is mine as an actor and a playwright.

Right now I’m trying a little improv in my own life by going with the flow and not knowing what comes next. I finished college and now I’m doing BVS and I’m not quite sure what is going to happen next but I’m trusting in God to help me out and guide me.

The rules of improv seem to apply to this situation as well. Don’t deny. Don’t ask open ended questions (What happens next?). You don’t have to be funny (well, thanks). Make others look good and I’ll make myself look good (golden rule anyone?). Tell a story.

Just the other day, Cat and I sat down and drew up a “story board,” if you will, of our lives. I looked at her and I said, “I have a plan! I’ve never had a plan before!” I think about the scripture I’ve chosen for today, however, and make sure that I don’t get upset if my plan doesn’t correspond precisely with God’s plans. I’m flexible and, hopefully, better at improv in life than on the stage.

Let me read that passage from Proverbs again. “Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word. Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good; God probes for what is good. Put God in charge of your work, then what you've planned will take place.”

It’s okay to make our own plans, as long as we keep God with us in making those plans. If we keep the intentions good and we ask God’s blessing, it’s hard to fail.

Song

How Bad We Need Each Other by Marc Scibilia (I played it on my laptop, but you can find the youtube version here.)

Prayer

God, you know your plans for us. Whether they are elaborate or simply that you want us to be happy. Thank you for watching over us as follow the path you have set out for us and as well as when we stray from that path. May we find many wondrous things on our journeys and always keep in mind those around us. Thank you for your presence in our lives. Amen.

End scene.
 
Sincerely,
Rachel

The Longest To-Do List

I found this picture/quote on Pinterest, one of my new-old favorite things to do. It got me thinking, though, about how many times I have indeed felt this way. I've started numerous lists of what I would like to do, what I can do to better myself--physically, mentally, spiritually--but I rarely follow through on all or any of the items on my list. I think it's time to start a fresh list that I will actually keep and work on. A short and long-term to-do list. Doing it publically is a way for me to keep myself motivated and going. Even if no one is actually holding me accountable, I will hopefully feel the need to not let anyone down--whoever that "anyone" may be. So here's my list. Give me your honest opinion and hold me accountable if you feel so called!

1. Read at least one news article every morning
2. Work in the garden
3. Keep my indoor plants alive for at least six months
4. Go completely vegetarian for a year
5. Keep my room clean for a whole week
6. Keep up with my personal blog
7. Learn to play the guitar
8. Re-learn to play the bass clarinet and alto saxophone
9. Improve my “social media skills”
10. Read the magazines sitting in my room that I keep saying I’m going to read
11. Eat more fruits and veggies
12. Find my go-to karaoke song
13. Have the courage to sing karaoke
14. Work on my French
15. Write at least 100 pages of original scripted material in a year (or participate in Script Frenzy and actually finish)
16. Write 50,000 words of a novel in a year (or participate in NaNoWriMo and actually finish)
17. Write something each day
18. Work my way through my book list (to come later)
19. Go on a silent retreat
20. Look into schools and finally decide what I want to do
21. Start a book of inspirational quotes I find
22. Bake from scratch more often
23. Work out at least three times a week (i.e. Zumba, yoga, the track, or even just a walk or 30min of Just Dance)
24. Start saving some money (even a few dollars) from each check
25. Work my way through AFI’s 100 Years 100 Movies
26. Learn organic farming
27. Hike the Appalachian Trail
28. Go on a cruise
29. Run a 5K
30. Ride in a hot air balloon
31. Live in another country (preferably France, England, Ireland, or Canada)
32. Go fishing
33. Go sailing
34. Travel:
        a. Ireland
        b. Greece
        c. Versailles
        d. West Coast
35. Go on a date
36. Go on a picnic with a red & white checkered blanket and a picnic basket that would make Yogi Bear proud
37. Drive “The Dude” (the van)
38. Camp out under the stars with my housemates
39. Go to a drive-in movie
40. Have a campfire
41. Write to my penpal
42. Call my mom every week
43. Be in times square on New Year’s Eve
44. Make Chelkey youtube videos
45. Make my Williamsburg Family Vacation scrapbook
46. Send birthday cards
47. Grow my hair long again
48. Own my own café
49. Go to Starved Rock (Illinois)
50. Make my own peanut butter at Fischer’s

Love,
Rachel